Chasing Strength: A Harper Family Romance Read online

  Alexis was quiet for a moment, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. She looked as if she wanted to say something but was leery of how to phrase it.

  “If you want to ask me something, go ahead.” He might end up regretting his offer, but he’d do anything to spend more time with Alexis. He’d just steer the conversation in another direction if she veered to close to Robin’s death.

  “It’s just, uh…” Her gaze darted to the floor. “I’m wondering why you did what you did for me at FitzGerald’s? Reading that article about the girl being found behind FitzGerald’s opened my eyes to the risk I took the other night.”

  Alexis’s question stabbed him right in the heart. Little did she know how close to home her situation hit. They hadn’t discussed the topic at lunch, but clearly this question had been niggling at her. And it had kept him up the past two nights.

  He’d seen tons of guys take drunk women home. Hell, he’d done it a number of times himself. But with Alexis, it was different. The troubled look in her eye had called to him, had stirred something deep inside him to protect her. And then when Dylan mentioned that they’d been looking out for their customers since Robin’s body was found… and asked him to intervene, he jumped. “I did what anyone would have done.”

  She raised a hand to stop him. “Not everyone. Definitely not everyone. Trust me, I’ve seen it enough. I guess I drank a little too much the other night.”

  Now, those words got his hackles up. Why did so many women always jump to the conclusion that if something bad happened, they’d caused it themselves? “Stop right there. This was not your fault. It was never your fault. That guy had no business taking you home in that condition. He should have made sure you were safe, put you in an Uber or something, and left it at that.”

  Chris regretted his tone the minute the words slipped out. Alexis withdrew into herself, her shoulders curled in. He reached out, wanting to comfort her, but stopped short when he saw her hand trembling. “Damnit, Alexis. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Guys like that piss me off. It’s so easy to do the right thing, but so many people choose not to. I hate to admit that I was probably like that guy in the past… but not anymore. I don’t want to see you, or anyone, taken advantage of in that way.”

  She sucked in a few breaths while she stared at the floor and Chris stared at her. After a minute, she transformed before his eyes. Her back straightened and she squared her shoulders as though preparing for a fight. “No, that’s all right. You don’t need to apologize. That’s not why I came here. I’m sorry I asked about that night. It’s not important.”

  Taking a chance, he rested his hands on her knees. Her gaze dropped to where they touched for a quick moment and then locked on his. “Don’t be sorry. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by bringing it up, but I’m happy to answer any questions you have.”

  “I just have one more… Did I thank you?”

  He hadn’t helped her for the thanks. And he hadn’t done it to garner attention. He just couldn’t bear it if any woman had to suffer the way that Robin did because men could be assholes. “Your safety is thanks enough.”

  She leapt up, shaking off the fear that appeared to have overtaken her just a few minutes before. “No, really. I want to thank you. I’ve thought a lot about that night, and the months leading up to it, and I want to tell you what led to me being in that place, at that time.”

  The thought of getting closer to Alexis scared the shit out of him, and at the same time, he wanted to reach out and grab the possibility of a future with her. He just didn’t know how to balance his attraction for Alexis with the fact that he didn’t think he had anything to offer her.

  Regardless, he ignored the warnings in his head. He wanted to see her again. It could be as simple as that. And he knew exactly how they could spend a few quality hours together, and he could share a personal part of himself at the same time. “I have an idea. Why don’t we finish up our conversation now, and tomorrow we can go out and talk privately? I have somewhere I’d like to take you.”

  “That sounds intriguing.” After a brief hesitation, she nodded her head. “Sure, why not?”

  For the next thirty minutes or so, it was all about business. She was inquisitive and her questions demonstrated a fascinating method to her madness, an ingenious way to tie clues together to the end result. But far too quickly, she had run out of questions and he was lost for anything else to say.

  Alexis collected her bag and stepped toward the door. He wasn’t sure he’d helped with her book, but something much more important had come out of today. He had taken a step with Alexis he wasn’t sure he would ever take again. He wasn’t sure what the future held for a relationship with the intriguing blond, but he wanted to find out.

  “Dress comfortable. Jeans and a jacket.”

  She flashed him that killer smile right before she stepped out the door.

  What in the hell are you doing, man? That question ran on repeat in his mind for the rest of the day. He didn’t have a clue, except for the fact that he was drawn to Alexis and it was more than just for her protection.

  Chapter 6

  Alexis glanced at her phone. Two minutes later than the last time you checked, goofball. Why in the hell was she so nervous? Oh, maybe because this was the first guy in a long time who interested her. She didn’t want to mess this up… as she had so many other things in her life.

  She’d meant it when she told Chris that something changed in her the night they met. She didn’t know if it was the fact that a stranger had brought her home, or the holes in her memories, or her lucky escape from much worse, but she had taken a hard look at herself and she didn’t like what she saw.

  Glancing in the mirror now, a clear-eyed, pink-cheeked woman stared back at her. One who was excited and scared about what today promised to be.

  She had no idea what Chris had planned. His elusive “wear jeans and a jacket” comment could be anything from having lunch in the park to hiking in the woods. Typically, if somebody told her what to do or how she should dress, she’d have let them have it, up one side and down the other. But coming from Chris, she trusted that he simply wanted her to be comfortable with whatever he had planned.

  Another quick glance at her phone. Five minutes? This hour was the slowest ever.

  Finally, the doorbell rang, followed by Bandit’s barking. Her stomach somersaulted. Chris was early. Way early. She wasn’t ready. Well, at least she was dressed, but she wasn’t mentally prepared to see him yet. Going out with him was a big deal and she hadn’t finished freaking out about it.

  Would it be too much to ask him to circle the block a few more times and come back, say, in fifteen minutes? That should be enough time to suffer a complete nervous breakdown and then touch up her makeup when she was done.

  The doorbell rang again, and she forced herself to move. When she rounded the corner into the living room, Bandit was leaping at the door handle as if he could open it with sheer willpower. “Bandit, down. You don’t want to scare Chris, do you? Or do you want to thank him for taking care of you the other night when I couldn’t?”

  When in the hell did I start talking to Bandit as if he was a person? Probably about the time she admitted that Bandit was here to stay. And that Serena had hoodwinked her.

  One more ring. “I’m coming.” Her words trailed off as she swung the door open. “Speak of the devil.”

  Alexis didn’t bother to invite her sister in. Serena had never needed an invitation before. The fact she’d rung the doorbell was an improvement over the days when she would burst into the house like she lived here. Serena crossed the threshold and crouched down to greet Bandit. He jumped up, resting his paws on her knees as Serena scratched at his muzzle. “Were you talking about me, sweetie? I bet you were. All good things, I hope.”

  Alexis crossed the room to grab her bag. If she looked as though she was ready to leave, Serena might cut her visit short. There was no way Alexis was going to subject Chris to her overly-enthusiastic sist
er. Not yet. She didn’t want to scare him away before she’d even gotten to know him. Besides, she wanted to keep Chris to herself for just a little bit longer.

  Being a twin often meant sharing everything with Serena. It was hard to discover herself when she was half of a pair. The worse half, probably.

  Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Alexis. She was so tired of the self-pity that cycled into depression and back into self-pity. The destructive internal dialogue was what had landed her in Stupid Decisions Land the other night in the first place. “What brings you by today, sis?”

  “Nothing in particular.” Serena got that dreamy look on her face. The one that had taken up residence the day Chase had walked into her shelter last fall.

  “That’s clearly not true. Now spill.” She snuck a furtive glance at her phone. Chris was due soon. If she could pry whatever Serena wanted out of her quickly, she could shuffle her on her way before he arrived.

  But Serena plopped onto the couch and patted the cushion for Bandit to join her. Dang. She was settling in for the long haul.

  “We picked a date… as long as it’s okay with you.”

  “Why does it have to be okay with me?”

  “Because you’re my maid-of-honor. And my sister. And my best friend.”

  Ah, damn. Why did she have to go and say that? Alexis hadn’t been a very good friend or sister recently. But she wanted to change that… for Serena’s sake, and for her own. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she sucked them back. No way was she going to get emotional right now. If she did, Serena would never leave. “What date did you pick?”

  Serena bounced up and down. “Christmas. Isn’t it great?”

  “Christmas, as in seven months from now?” Boy, Serena didn’t waste any time. Her sister had been waiting ten years for her prince charming to waltz back into her life, so Alexis couldn’t blame them for wanting to get married as soon as possible. As far as she could tell, Chase felt the same way about Serena. They behaved like they’d hit the jackpot with each other.

  “I wanted it earlier, but I didn’t want to schedule it too close to Rachel’s wedding. Speaking of which…” Serena bit at her lower lip, a sure sign that she had something else she wanted to say. Frankly, they both did the same thing. Just another thing they had in common.

  “Oh, just spit it out.”

  Serena sputtered out the breath she’d been holding. “I never could keep anything from you.”

  Alexis laughed and tapped her temple. “Because we’re psychic. Hello!”

  “It’s just that… I want my sisters in my wedding… all my sisters. How would you feel if I asked Rachel to be a bridesmaid?”

  Alexis sank into the chair next to her fireplace. They’d met their half-sister a couple of years ago, but Alexis barely knew her. That was completely her own fault. Whenever someone brought up Rachel, their half-sister from one of Dad’s numerous affairs, Alexis withdrew from the conversation or steered it in another direction. Her hesitation wasn’t over Rachel specifically. It was about their father and the fact that he hadn’t bothered to commit to his wife and kids. But Dad wasn’t around for Alexis to scream at. Actually, the fact that no one had the chance to call him on his shit before he died pissed her off.

  Serena sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought up Rachel.”

  Alexis’s mind immediately shot to the bottle of wine in the fridge. This conversation definitely deserved a drink. But where had drinking gotten her in the past? Making stupid decisions and being manhandled by a jerk, that was where. Alcohol fed her depression even more than self-pity, but at least it numbed the pain. “No, it’s okay. It’s just hard for me. I’m still so mad at him, and I’m even more angry that he’s dead and I can’t tell him off for everything he did.”

  Serena’s gaze softened. “It’s been hard for all of us, but I’m worried about you, Alexis. I don’t want to tell you that there’s a right way to deal with news like that, but Daddy died years ago and you’re still angry. I want you to be happy and you can’t be until you let this go. Have you thought about seeing a counselor?”

  Maybe Serena had a point. Alexis wanted to let it go. To find some peace, and a counselor was an objective voice, not personally involved with the turmoil in her life. But Serena didn’t know about the conversation Alexis had overhead when she was younger. The one she had been forced to keep secret for all these years. Maybe if Alexis shared what she’d been hiding, she’d feel some relief. Besides, Dad wasn’t here to argue about it.

  She cleared her throat. This wouldn’t be easy for Serena to hear. “One time, when we were about sixteen, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard something downstairs.”

  Alexis lost herself in the memory for a moment, the pain as raw today as it had been that night when everything she’d assumed about her life had been shattered.

  Serena leaned in, a stricken look on her face. “What was it?”

  “Mom and Dad were arguing in the kitchen. It was around two in the morning and I don’t know if Dad was drunk or not, but they were screaming at each other. About Rachel.”

  Serena gasped, her hand flying to her chest. “Wait a minute… you knew about Rachel way back then? Oh, Alexis. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because why should it ruin your life, too? At first, I didn’t believe what I was hearing. That Dad was saying it to hurt Mom. But she already knew. I think she had always known. Mom was crying. All I wanted to do was rush into the room and throw my arms around her. I wanted to protect her from his anger… and his drinking… and his betrayal. I still do.” When their brother Justin had first confirmed the existence of the half-sister that she’d known about for years, Alexis’s protectiveness of their mother had reared its head. It was unfair that Mom had to deal with the shit that their father had dealt them even after his death.

  “It’s awful that you had to go through that alone for so long. And I get it. I’m so mad at Dad that I wish I could go back and slap him in the face. But none of that is Rachel’s fault any more than it’s our fault.”

  Alexis knew that in her mind, but her heart hadn’t caught up. “I know it’s not Rachel’s fault. But I have trouble separating the two. She’s here because Dad was a jerk. I haven’t been able to get past that. When I first met Rachel, I wanted to hate her, but I can’t. I like her… despite myself.”

  “Then you should get to know her better.”

  She paced across the room and checked her phone. Thank God Chris was running late. She hadn’t planned to have this conversation with Serena today. Certainly not when she was expecting someone she wasn’t ready to introduce to her sister. Alexis threw her sister a sassy look. “I guess I will… since we’re going to be in your wedding together.”

  Serena leapt into Alexis’s arms. “Oh, thank you so much. Can you believe this? I’m getting married.”

  Alexis sympathized. She hadn’t bothered to get involved with a man in a long time. Why should she? She was just setting herself up to be hurt, because that was what people did to her. But she somehow knew that Chris wasn’t like that.

  Did that mean she had a real chance with him? He’d flirted with her yesterday, and she caught him staring at her a couple of times. Today was definitely a date, even if they hadn’t spoken the words. He was sending out all the signs.

  Serena stepped back, spreading Alexis’s hands wide. “Hey, you look good. I mean, really good. Are you going somewhere? Oh, Alexis, I’m sorry. I should have asked before I launched into that conversation about Rachel.”

  Alexis laughed. Her sister had one mode—full speed ahead. She went all out in everything she did. But before Alexis could respond and shuffle Serena out, the doorbell rang.

  Serena hurried toward the door. “I’ll get it. I was on my way out anyway.”

  Alexis cut Serena off and blocked the door. “No, you won’t,” she whispered. “Go out the back and no matter what, do not say anything.”

  There was that scheming twinkle in Serena’s eye. “Do you h
ave a date? Are you afraid he’ll get confused if he sees two of you?” she whispered back.

  While it was true that dating as a twin could be tricky, sending Serena away was more about her own mixed feelings for Chris and not anything else. She shoved her sister toward the kitchen. “Go.”

  Alexis kept her eyes on Serena until she rounded the corner. She wouldn’t put it past her sister to… linger. After Serena darted out of sight, Alexis drew in a deep breath and opened the door.

  Chris’s back was to the door and she only got a quick second to appreciate his ass wrapped in faded denim before he spun around. Then again, the view from the front was pretty awesome, too, his open leather jacket unzipped over a black T-shirt stretched across that delicious, broad chest. But the best part was the huge smile on his face. “Hey, Alexis. Sorry I’m late.”

  “No problem.” She brushed down her jeans. “Am I dressed okay?”

  His appreciative gaze scanned her body, and she resisted the urge to pop a hip and assume an attitude. But that trademark move was more to protect herself than to actually flirt. “Perfect. Ready to go?”

  “Just let me grab my bag.” Alexis ducked into the house in time to see Serena peek around the corner. Her meddling sister faked clapping her hands and waggled her eyebrows.

  Alexis stifled a chuckle and stepped onto the porch before Serena decide to stick her nose in. “I’m ready.”

  “What’s so funny?” he asked as his hand landed on the small of her back, escorting her down the two steps to her sidewalk. She wanted to sink into his touch and get lost, but she wasn’t quite sure Chris was on the same page.